Posts
Cancer
Fucking colon cancer
FUCK
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Oh dear, where do I begin?
I came to the ER at around 9 am on Christmas morning with a fever and severe abdominal pains. I'd been having pains on and off for almost two weeks but on Christmas Eve it was really unbearable so I stuck it out for the gift unwrapping then headed to the hospital.
An X-ray, cat scan, and other assessments led to an initial diagnosis of...drum roll...constipation. Bad girl, eat more fiber. So they checked me in for four liters of oral laxatives (not kidding) and, oh joy, continuous enemas. Plus some crud by IV to stir up my stomach a little more. This regimin led to almost continous vomiting and no results on the other side. So they figured I just wasn't cooperating and stuck an NG tube up my nose and down into my stomach. Turns out I can vomit even with a tube in to suction out the contents of my stomach.
After about 48 hours of this chaos where I felt like I was on death's doorstep, they sent me for a colonoscope which showed that I have a complete obstruction in my colon. We're waiting for the biopsy results, but given my age and the sudden onset, they feel it's unlikely to be a malignancy.
Most likely scenario is Chrone's disease (I'm not sure on spelling, can't google well from the blackberry). Right now they don't think I'm in imminent danger of rupturing my colon. I've been without food or water since Christmas Eve so they put in a central line today and should start pumping me with some nutritional muck tomorrow.
We tentatively have surgery scheduled for Friday morning (surgeon on vacation till then) to resect the closed off portion of my colon. They aren't fond of doing the surgery when the colon is full of you-know-what, but we don't have a whole lot of options since my system doesn't have any way of clearing itself out right now. So they may or may not be able to put the pieces back together again which could leave me with a temporary colostomy for 3-6 months. But unless I rupture or it's cancer, they've indicated that a permanent colostomy is unlikely.
So what can I say? I'm scared, praying it's not cancer. Praying that I don't become septic. Praying that I can go home to my sweet babies who I miss so dearly. I probably shouldn't spill my dirty medical problems to the internet, but I know many of you care and I ask you to pray the same prayers with me.
Things are fine at home. My mom is arranging for a personal leave to help out at the house so Sean can continue to be here bt my side. Sean's mom was a trooper watching all 3 kids the last five days. I'll try to post a brief update here if there's news, but just be optimistic and assume no news is good news.
Oh, and whenever I finish up with all this silly business, apparently I have a hernia that needs surgery and some lesions on my liver that need an MRI. Thank God I look so stunning in a hospital gown.
I came to the ER at around 9 am on Christmas morning with a fever and severe abdominal pains. I'd been having pains on and off for almost two weeks but on Christmas Eve it was really unbearable so I stuck it out for the gift unwrapping then headed to the hospital.
An X-ray, cat scan, and other assessments led to an initial diagnosis of...drum roll...constipation. Bad girl, eat more fiber. So they checked me in for four liters of oral laxatives (not kidding) and, oh joy, continuous enemas. Plus some crud by IV to stir up my stomach a little more. This regimin led to almost continous vomiting and no results on the other side. So they figured I just wasn't cooperating and stuck an NG tube up my nose and down into my stomach. Turns out I can vomit even with a tube in to suction out the contents of my stomach.
After about 48 hours of this chaos where I felt like I was on death's doorstep, they sent me for a colonoscope which showed that I have a complete obstruction in my colon. We're waiting for the biopsy results, but given my age and the sudden onset, they feel it's unlikely to be a malignancy.
Most likely scenario is Chrone's disease (I'm not sure on spelling, can't google well from the blackberry). Right now they don't think I'm in imminent danger of rupturing my colon. I've been without food or water since Christmas Eve so they put in a central line today and should start pumping me with some nutritional muck tomorrow.
We tentatively have surgery scheduled for Friday morning (surgeon on vacation till then) to resect the closed off portion of my colon. They aren't fond of doing the surgery when the colon is full of you-know-what, but we don't have a whole lot of options since my system doesn't have any way of clearing itself out right now. So they may or may not be able to put the pieces back together again which could leave me with a temporary colostomy for 3-6 months. But unless I rupture or it's cancer, they've indicated that a permanent colostomy is unlikely.
So what can I say? I'm scared, praying it's not cancer. Praying that I don't become septic. Praying that I can go home to my sweet babies who I miss so dearly. I probably shouldn't spill my dirty medical problems to the internet, but I know many of you care and I ask you to pray the same prayers with me.
Things are fine at home. My mom is arranging for a personal leave to help out at the house so Sean can continue to be here bt my side. Sean's mom was a trooper watching all 3 kids the last five days. I'll try to post a brief update here if there's news, but just be optimistic and assume no news is good news.
Oh, and whenever I finish up with all this silly business, apparently I have a hernia that needs surgery and some lesions on my liver that need an MRI. Thank God I look so stunning in a hospital gown.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
For those of you who like horror movies:
Here is the gruesome shot of poor Trevor's mouth. No, those teeth weren't in that position before the ride down the stairs. Check back in a few weeks and they may not be there at all. He can't bite with those teeth for two weeks in an effort to allow them to heal and firm up. At least one has 80% mobility according to the dentist. Which means hanging by a thin thread.
But he's not due for his permanent teeth for another 3-4 YEARS! So I'm thinking a crooked smile is better than no smile. So I think I'm hoping for the teeth to hang in there. Although I do think that if they turn black that would be gross. I'd prefer no teeth to black crooked teeth.
If you still haven't backed out, you can click on the picture to enlarge. And yes, that is dried blood all over his mouth. Nice touch, eh?
Here is the gruesome shot of poor Trevor's mouth. No, those teeth weren't in that position before the ride down the stairs. Check back in a few weeks and they may not be there at all. He can't bite with those teeth for two weeks in an effort to allow them to heal and firm up. At least one has 80% mobility according to the dentist. Which means hanging by a thin thread.
But he's not due for his permanent teeth for another 3-4 YEARS! So I'm thinking a crooked smile is better than no smile. So I think I'm hoping for the teeth to hang in there. Although I do think that if they turn black that would be gross. I'd prefer no teeth to black crooked teeth.
If you still haven't backed out, you can click on the picture to enlarge. And yes, that is dried blood all over his mouth. Nice touch, eh?
Hooray for small victories!
Just sent my Christmas card order to the printer. With any luck, they'll arrive here Wednesday (Thursday at the latest). I can have the envelopes all addressed and ready and maybe they'll arrive at their destinations before Dec 25th.
Now we just need a tree, presents, a birthday party for a little girl...like I said, it was a small victory.
Just sent my Christmas card order to the printer. With any luck, they'll arrive here Wednesday (Thursday at the latest). I can have the envelopes all addressed and ready and maybe they'll arrive at their destinations before Dec 25th.
Now we just need a tree, presents, a birthday party for a little girl...like I said, it was a small victory.
Monday, December 15, 2008
Experience...
Y'know, you can tell your kids something a hundred times, but there are certain things they're determined to learn for themselves. Like when you say "Don't tip back in your chair, you'll fall." You can say that forever, but until they crack their head on the floor, your words will fall on deaf ears.
But certain times, I'm remiss for not warning my kids. Like I never said to Trevor, "Don't sit on that toy firetruck and try to ride it down a flight of wooden stairs". Not that he would have listened, but I didn't say those exact words. But I'm guessing the firsthand experience was enough for him to not do it again.
Pictures to follow...
Y'know, you can tell your kids something a hundred times, but there are certain things they're determined to learn for themselves. Like when you say "Don't tip back in your chair, you'll fall." You can say that forever, but until they crack their head on the floor, your words will fall on deaf ears.
But certain times, I'm remiss for not warning my kids. Like I never said to Trevor, "Don't sit on that toy firetruck and try to ride it down a flight of wooden stairs". Not that he would have listened, but I didn't say those exact words. But I'm guessing the firsthand experience was enough for him to not do it again.
Pictures to follow...
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Hang your head in shame...
Just one short month ago, watching a certain president-elect give his election night victory speech in Grant Park, I was proud to be from the great state of Illinois. Still probably nowhere near the Texas pride I see every day, but I had a warmth in my heart for the Land of Lincoln.
Today, not so much. Two governors in a row ousted for corruption? The transcripts of this guy's phone calls read like a bad movie script. Can somebody find me a governor I can respect. Alaska? Um...NO! Texas? Does anybody remember the commercial from the last campaign where they had Perry trying to talk himself out of a traffic ticket? What a clown. But he's no Rod Blogojevich, that's for sure.
Nice way to represent for the home team Rod.
Just one short month ago, watching a certain president-elect give his election night victory speech in Grant Park, I was proud to be from the great state of Illinois. Still probably nowhere near the Texas pride I see every day, but I had a warmth in my heart for the Land of Lincoln.
Today, not so much. Two governors in a row ousted for corruption? The transcripts of this guy's phone calls read like a bad movie script. Can somebody find me a governor I can respect. Alaska? Um...NO! Texas? Does anybody remember the commercial from the last campaign where they had Perry trying to talk himself out of a traffic ticket? What a clown. But he's no Rod Blogojevich, that's for sure.
Nice way to represent for the home team Rod.
Monday, December 08, 2008
Lists...
Mama T is a self-proclaimed list person. I admire that. Me? I'm anti-list. Why do I need to look at the top 10 things I didn't get done today that should have gotten done yesterday. If I had a list, it would look like this:
Presents purchases: ZERO
Gift ideas: ZERO
Christmas cards designed and ordered for other people: FOUR
Christmas cards designed and ordered for self: ZERO
Photo shoots edited for other families: ??20??
Photo shoots edited for my family: ZERO
1st birthday party invitations designed and ordered: ONE (Yay!)
Adorable 1st birthday outfits ordered after begging the woman to please, please accept my order even though it's past the holiday cutoff: ONE (Yay! Again)
Sense of impending doom as the birthday and holiday approach: PRICELESS
If you're reading this, just remind yourself that this blog is my personal gift to you and you couldn't ask for anything more. :-)
Mama T is a self-proclaimed list person. I admire that. Me? I'm anti-list. Why do I need to look at the top 10 things I didn't get done today that should have gotten done yesterday. If I had a list, it would look like this:
Presents purchases: ZERO
Gift ideas: ZERO
Christmas cards designed and ordered for other people: FOUR
Christmas cards designed and ordered for self: ZERO
Photo shoots edited for other families: ??20??
Photo shoots edited for my family: ZERO
1st birthday party invitations designed and ordered: ONE (Yay!)
Adorable 1st birthday outfits ordered after begging the woman to please, please accept my order even though it's past the holiday cutoff: ONE (Yay! Again)
Sense of impending doom as the birthday and holiday approach: PRICELESS
If you're reading this, just remind yourself that this blog is my personal gift to you and you couldn't ask for anything more. :-)
Friday, December 05, 2008
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Yum!
I had a salted caramel signature hot chocolate at Starbuck's today. First of all, I never go to Starbucks and all their fancy drinks and weird sizes confuse me. Secondly, it makes me sick to pay almost $4 for a hot chocolate.
But, seriously now, it was soooooo delicious. Like run out and get yourself one right now. And go another 6 months without a haircut so you can afford one at least once a week.
I had a salted caramel signature hot chocolate at Starbuck's today. First of all, I never go to Starbucks and all their fancy drinks and weird sizes confuse me. Secondly, it makes me sick to pay almost $4 for a hot chocolate.
But, seriously now, it was soooooo delicious. Like run out and get yourself one right now. And go another 6 months without a haircut so you can afford one at least once a week.
Wednesday, December 03, 2008
Love/Hate
I have a love/hate relationship with 6 am flights. I love being able to get to a 9 am mtg without having to fly out the day before and stay overnight. I HATE waking up at 3:15 to get ready and make it to the airport. I mean, really, that's just an obscene hour. Even Juliette isn't rude enough to disturb my sleep at that hour.
But the guy at security spent a while looking at my license before he finally said "You look a lot younger". Maybe he says that to everyone...maybe he was joking...but he sounded sincere. And it got a smile out of me at 5 am, which isn't easy.
I have a love/hate relationship with 6 am flights. I love being able to get to a 9 am mtg without having to fly out the day before and stay overnight. I HATE waking up at 3:15 to get ready and make it to the airport. I mean, really, that's just an obscene hour. Even Juliette isn't rude enough to disturb my sleep at that hour.
But the guy at security spent a while looking at my license before he finally said "You look a lot younger". Maybe he says that to everyone...maybe he was joking...but he sounded sincere. And it got a smile out of me at 5 am, which isn't easy.
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