Monday, January 05, 2009

Still no news from pathology. The waiting is hard. Sean made some phone calls to MD Anderson today to start the process for them to review all my records and give their chemo/treatment plan recommendation. Apparently, if you don't start your treatment there, they won't take you as a patient until you've finished your recommended treatment with you original hospital/physician. And while the oncologist here seems on his game and is very attentive, I'd just feel more comfortable with someone with more experience treating this particular type of cancer in someone my age.

They say that for the tumor to have gotten to the point it did (completely obstructing my colon), it would have been growing there for 10-15 years. It's just hard to think that this cancer has been there since before Sean and I started dating, before I ever carried any of my precious babies. Just lurking, growing. They say the kids need to start having colonoscopies in their mid-20s. Poor things. What a genetic gift, eh?

Today has been a little challenging. They took me off all my IV pain meds at once, trying to prep me for going home tomorrow. I went from total NPO at midnight, to trying to force down food and drink in an effort towards independence. After almost 2 weeks of not eating or drinking, I think it's going to take a little time to regain an appetite. And then there was the reality of the colostomy, which is really more reality than I wanted to deal with on a day with no Toradol or morphine.

But tomorrow's another day, hopefully a day where I can go home and the babies won't be scared of me. I've been sitting in this bed staring at pictures of their sweet faces just wishing I could hold them without all these wires in the way. Tomorrow, whatever else comes, will bring the cuddles I need.

LM

11 comments:

cuz said...

wow...amazing... 10-15 years...that is so bizarre...well its gone now...you will feel so much better at home and your spirits will be better, being able to snuggle with the kids ...keeping you in my prayers..love ya

Anonymous said...

So sorry that you are having to continue waiting and that you have to go home tomorrow. I imagine that it is a scary thought to go home but one that you are looking forward to at the same time. Take it easy with the food. Your appetite will come back. The colostomy care will come along to be (almost like) second nature. Your babies will all hug you like never before. And your fingers and toes will be beautiful (I am trying to find someone to do home mani/pedis). Things are looking up! Allison

Leslie said...

Home. Thats a great word!! Something to look forward to for sure. Well just think if it wouldnt have obstructed your colon, they may not have found it before it was too late. Everything happens for a reason. We dont always understand God's strange sense of humor but He does:) Tell Sean Im trying hard to pull Texas through. Awesome game. Hope yall are getting to watch.

Donna said...

Hi Lisa,
Sorry for your troubles. You are incredibly tough and resilient. I agree with Ginny about the McDonald's escapade - I think you have a bit of Usher in you for responding in the way you did. I mean...who does that? (besides an Usher)
You are wise to seek an opinion from MD Anderson. They are well-respected in the oncology community. You want the best care available when it comes to your health.
Glad to hear you are going home for hugs. Bet Sean and the kids have missed you.

I pray for your healing.

Love,
Donna

Anonymous said...

I am so glad you are going home. What a happy day. Your home. Your bed. Kiss those babies! And don't forget to ask if you need/want anything. Paige

Stephanie said...

I'm sorry that you've had such a tough day but I'm so glad that you get to go home tomorrow. Hugs always help. We're thinking about you!

Anna said...

Glad you will be going home. Things always look better from that perspective. Give those kids lots of hugs and kisses :) And then some from us too - if you can squeeze them in between some of yours.
We will continue to pray for you and your family.
Anna

Anonymous said...

There's no place like home!!! I know this is torture...the waiting, the pain, the stupid colostomy. The kids will be so happy to be with you. We had a great time with them Sunday. Michael will start his chemo today (I'll be at work), but we'll be thinking and praying for YOU.....Amy

Anonymous said...

I'm feeling like today will be a brighter day. Your kids' hugs will be the best medicine for you today. take it easy, Margaret

Anonymous said...

Cuddles, cuddles, and more cuddles! I hope you get as many as you heart desires today. Thinking of you always.
Love,
Kathryn

Art Usher said...

May God grant you all that you desire, and especially a rapid diagnosis of remission that lasts the whole of your life.