Something...

People keep telling me I need to post something. I was completely offline for two weeks and even now that I'm back on the iPod I don't feel like I have much to say. Most days are the same: wake up, lie in bed, maybe muster the energy for a shower, fall back in bed exhausted, lay in bed for the rest of the day. Sounds exciting, I know.

I've ventured out of the house 4 or 5 times since I've been home. Once to take Malik (one of our dogs) to the veterinary opthamologist, only to learn that he needs surgery to have his eye removed. Sounds awful, but he's been blind in the eye for a few years and his detached lens has shifted, causing pressure buildup and lots of pain so I think he'll be more comfortable with it gone. Still, nothing like an eye removal to snap you out of your own cave of self-pity.

Other outings: doctor's office for stitch removal and prescriptions, GapKids to buy some school shirts for Hayden (disastrous outing: dizzy spells, hot flashes), lunch and pedicures with Shelley (yay!), family breakfast at LePeep (gooey buns, yum). Each and every trip has left me completely exhausted. I just have zero stamina, zero pep.

My pain control has been good since I left the hospital. I've only taken a few Tylenol here and there for headaches. I think after the nightmare of Fentanyl withdrawal in the hospital, I'm afraid to take anything stronger. So I mostly grin and bear it. I still hit the nausea meds pretty hard, but they've kept things manageable. I'm starting to wonder if the fatigue is as much hormonal as surgical. I'm sleeping better than I was initially, but still not great. So tonight I took my first hormone pill and we'll see if there's any improvement. I was hesitant to take something, but I'm almost 5 weeks out from my surgery and don't feel like I'm where I should be.

What's next? I meet with my medical oncologist next week to put together a plan for chemo. Typically, people would do 6 cycles pre-surgery and 6 cycles post-surgery. Due to scheduling issues with the surgery, I did 10 cycles beforehand. So I'll probably do less than 6, but I don't know exactly how many. It's normal to wait 6-8 weeks after surgery to give the body a chance to heal, so I've probably still got a few weeks to go. I'll keep you posted.